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Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.

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During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you L100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out." He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied. It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. Mobile ringing tone cat 2130 jazz. When it comes time for the groom’s vows, the vicar looks the young man in the eye and says: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes." The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal." The vicar put the L100 into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

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Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating. "Is is beef?" Cat 2130 Mobile ringing tone jazz The daughter Katie asked. "Nope." "Is it pork?" the son Willie asked. "Nope." "Heck, we don't know, Dad!" Willie exclaimed. "I'll give you a clue," the Dad said, "It's what your mom sometimes calls me." "Spit it out, Willie!" cried Katie, "We're eating Asshole!!"

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Joke

An 82 year old man marries an 18 year old woman, she becomes pregnant. The 82 year old man goes to the Dr. to see what the DR had to say about the wife being pregnant. The DR. said let me tell you a story about this 82 year old man I know, This man went hunting every hunting season his whole life, never missed an event. Cat 2130 Mobile ringing tone jazz. One year he got ready to go hunting and grabbed an umbrella instead of his gun. He got to the beaver pond and saw a bever pulled up the umbrella and said pow pow and the beaver fell over dead. The Dr. asked the 82 year old patient what he thought happened to the beaver and the patient said I think someone else shot the beaver.